Yes I am looking to you

Wed, 21 May 2008 00:47:18 -0500

MainLy I just wanted to share this picture of Baci the cross-eyed cat. Probably because it reminds me of all the googly eyed people in Austria and all over the world - much respect to the googly eye.

also, we are going to asia this friday for 2 weeks. its about to get crazy.

also also, we sold our house and everything has worked out perfectly up to this point. we are so incredibly blessed it is beyond belief. we will be moving to chicago in june and selling/buying a house according to our hearts desire. Come visit soon and we’ll go to a cubs game...

Unemployed + Camouflaged = sweet hiding skills

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:42:39 -0500

So its been awhile, but thats ok. Heres the highlights...I am getting medically retired from the military. My final date is 25 April, and then its smell you later. We are working on that whole future job thing, but we can’t leave utah until after my byu mba finishes in july. its kind of crazy to think that this has been our life for the last 6 years. If you add in the academy (which I DO SINCE i had to march to lunch everyday and wait for phone privileges) that is the last 10 years I have spent In the air force.

anyways, it seems the gang at work is really gonna miss me. I’m an irreplaceable cog in the wheel. Or wait, no....turns out i’ve already been replaced. By a hungarian. (not that it matters, but i thought it would be good dinner talk. PS, he’s only been a citizen since 2006 and he failed out of missile school - discuss.) I no longer have a desk, or an office, or any responsibility. This means I have a lot of time on my hands to wander the halls aimlessly. I generally go to work late after breakfasting with my family and then I usually come home for lunch a few hours later after which I may or may not go back to work. And for the record, not going back wins out everytime. I’m not gonna lie--this is pretty great. Why won’t someone pay me to do this forever? I realize that at some point I’ll have to get a real job (back off--i’m working on it) but for now I gotta say that hanging out with my wife and kids all day is the most fun I’ve ever been paid to have. And in the meantime, its a good thing that i wear camouflage to work everyday.

Asia here I come

Sun, 2 Sep 2007 22:36:17 -0500

Well, back in school and work and all that good stuff. Work is not so hot because someone I work with is a big wanker. School is good because the classes and teachers are awesome and and we get to choose most of our classes this year. Most importantly, Reyna and I decided to go to Asia for the end of year school trip. There are three trip choices, each one lasting 2 weeks. I decided not to go to Europe, since they they spend 5 days in Vienna, Austria, and oh yeah, I spent 12 months and 12 days in Wienna (german joke people, they can’t say english v’s to save their lives). Another option is South America, but I am really not into that many 3rd world countries crammed into a 2 week time period. Also, that 1 year of spanish in college that mainly involved me falling asleep and my crazy Venezuelan teacher kicking the desk probably won’t help that much. So, Asia it is. Japan, Hong Kong, China, and Thailand are about to get the rocked, and they don’t even know it. I will send everyone a picture of me on the Great Wall, but maybe I won’t take the skateboard ramp option. All I have to say is that it is a good thing that I am a ninja.

why America is at risk

Thu, 24 May 2007 20:14:36 -0500

So, here it goes ... we just had babies. Two babies as a matter of fact in case you hadn’t heard. I originally took 2 weeks off to stay home and help, but I can’t say I was that much help since it appears that you can’t actually milk anything with nipples. Sidebar - I say I originally took 2 weeks off because when we took the babies to my office for show and tell, my boss called the next day and said that maybe I should take 3 weeks off in the best interest of Reyna’s mental state. But I digress. Since we spent the bulk of our time sitting on the couch each holding a baby, we were left with a lot of time to contemplate the meaning of life, or just watch a lot of TV. As much as I love TV, I can only watch so much Ninja Warrior on the G4 channel before I lose my faith in humanity. But thankfully salvation came in the form of our good friend Chanel who, bless her heart, dropped everything and came down from Oregon to lend a hand. Along with not 1 but 2 helping hands, she also brought with her what can only be described as manna from heaven - Arrested Development Seasons 1 & 2 DVDs. If you consider yourself a true patriot, or just a person with the slightest sense of humor, you need to get your grubby little hands on these DVDs. They are so funny, they are crazy funny. I can’t believe that we were blessed in our life time to witness such comedic genius. It is the type of show that you can watch a million billion trillion times in a row and it never isn’t funny. But as what happens with all good shows, Arrested Development went the way of the buffalo, mainly because the Network That Shall Not Be Named (hint: rhymes with Box and Mox) cancelled it due to low ratings. This probably happened because all the smart people in the world, who along with not considering the CW a real network (especially since Veronica Mars was cancelled), also watch all their shows using Tivo. Tivo doesn’t count towards ratings people, just like going to Tahiti doesn’t count as a real mission. But seriously - a brilliant show like Arrested Development is cancelled in favor of a show that tests your ability to outsmart an 11 year old? Or a show that encourages white trash to laugh at other white trash? This is why America will be overtaken by at least one of the Axes of Evil in the near future, and it will probably happen between 5-10 years from now. Mark my word all you Walmart shopping, mullet sporting, trailer living Americans, one day soon you’ll be sorry that you allowed Reba and Walker, Texas Ranger to be on the air for so long. And then you’ll be sorry America, and I mean really sorry. Strike that, you’ll be really really sorry.

Dropping the kids off...

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:32:31 -0500

This weekend I ridded myself of one of the most disgusting and horrible jobs that I have ever had to do in my long and illustrious life. For the past 3 years, the kitty litter box has been the bane of my existence. For some reason, some random lady somewhere started the horrible rumor (and that is probably all it is people, a rumor) that if a pregnant lady was exposed to the mystical death crystal dust created by kitty litter, then the said pregnant lady’s babies would be born with 3 legs, 4.5 arms, 7 eyes, and a few more extra miscellaneous body appendages. And since my lovely spouse read this said article and believed every single made-up fact, I have been on permanent poop patrol. Always thinking outside the litter box, of course I bought the automatic Mega LitterMaid XJ 5000. But since my cats crap double their body weight before noon everyday, it soon went from suck to blow and gave up the ghost. Thus I have been removing fecal matter by hand twice a week, as both of our cats stared, pointed and laughed. I am not kidding, I have actually heard them giggling.

But look who’s laughing now my furry feline friends, look who’s laughing now. I recently discovered, thanks to Reyna’s sister Meredith, (who lived in a barn in Georgia for crying out loud, so she knows about these things) that cats will take steamy deucers outside!?! Lickety split I packed up the kitty dump box and tossed it in the garbage, never to scoop cat feces again. At first I was fearful that I would find droppings in various places in my house, but I am happy to report that it is going as smooth as can be. Never have I been prouder than this past week as I watched Potter our orange tabby (pictured above) popping a squat outside our window right in the middle of our backyard. Now if I could just Bennett to do the same...