I'm ready for my close-up

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:37:26 -0500

We just subjected ourselves to family pictures. Considering we had no proof that Oliver even existed yet, it was high time. I generally don’t like having family pictures taken, but I will say that this was a very pleasant experience. Here are some of our moments:

Winning the award for weirdest face: Lincoln. Winning the award for sleepiest: Seth
Winning the award for best sound effect: Oliver

Winning the award for least interested in taking pictures: Oliver

Conversations with Bennett: Part 5

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:29:02 -0500

After informing Bennett that he had a basket of laundry to put away the following conversation took place:

Me: Bennett, you need to put this laundry away.
Bennett: But I’m watching a show!
Me: Just pause it and you can finish it when you’re done.
Bennett: But I want to watch it now!
Me: (getting annoyed) When I was a kid we couldn’t pause our shows! We couldn’t record our shows! We had to watch LIVE TV! And if your mom told you to put away your laundry while you were watching a show then you just missed your show--you couldn’t go back and watch it later!
Bennett: (Looking at me in bewilderment/amazement) Where did you grow up???!

This is a far cry from the “When I was a kid...” stories we used to hear growing up!

Are You a Warrior?

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:05:14 -0500

Have you heard of the Warrior Dash? Where they hand out viking helmets with your registration number? Where the mud is knee deep and you’re competing in an obstacle course that may or may not suck the shoes right off your feet? Well I hadn’t either. But who better to run, crawl, leap and dodge than Timmy and Seth? Timmy just graduated from the 25th grade and is now an official dentist. We have started referring to him as Dr. Bueno. I hope it catches on.

The people watching was superb. Many people run in costume. Timmy and Seth wanted to go undetected--hence the camo. But obviously it’s an homage to two dudes who became BFF’s at the AFA, but who for different reasons were both kicked out of the Air Force thanks to various physical maladies. I only wish they had thought of this outfit first:

That’s a full-blown loincloth people. And we saw him bend over. So take that visual image and enjoy it. It’s my gift to you.

Then there were these guys. Who doesn’t love a good supportive coconut bra?

I think this guy is running in hot pants and a wig. And then there’s the chick in the background who is about to biff it. I enjoy this picture very much.

Hopefully this will not be the last of the Warrior Dashes run by team Malleycat/Bueno.

Wedded Bliss

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 08:45:13 -0500

Recently Seth and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. And by celebrated I mean Seth went to a funeral and I went to my photography class. Super romantic! But we did wrap up the evening with a fun interview conducted by Chanel: We recorded the whole thing, but I’ve just shared some of the highlights. I’m guessing much of what we said will be confusing-- considering half the time it’s out of context, or related to some other memory altogether…but it’s us. And we’re random and out of context a lot of the time anyway…
Chanel: Does 8 years seem like a long time or a short time?
Seth: Short
Reyna: You mean, has it gone by fast? Oh yeah—it’s flown by. And yet living in Delaware seems like a lifetime ago.
Chanel: What’s the 1st thing you remember about your actual wedding?
Reyna: Kneeling across the altar
Seth: You mean at the temple? The pictures. I had practiced my smile--
Reyna: But not standing
Seth: I didn’t get that far
Chanel:(Laughing) Wait…what?
Reyna: Ok, so for our engagement pictures the photographer did everything possible to get Seth to smile like a normal person. You know…like a human? Seriously, he tried candid shots. He said things like, “Just relax” or “ok, kiss her…ok, DON’T.” Finally after quite some time the photographer goes, “yeah….I don’t know what to tell you…” It was really bad. So after that whole experience we had a talk about how to smile normally for pictures. So in our wedding pictures he is smiling perfectly. And it’s a real, genuine smile…and then you start looking down the picture to find that his foot is rolled out to the side (like if you had sprained your ankle by rolling it). His foot is like that in every. single. picture. At no point is he standing on two feet. Like all the awkwardness of the smile just traveled to his foot.
Chanel: Did you know you were doing that?
Seth: No, but it’s been mercilessly pointed out.
Reyna: Just mocked. I mean, we get the wedding proofs back and I’m like, “Oh wow! You look so great….what’s with the foot?
Chanel: What was your favorite part of the reception?
Reyna: Dancing with friends
Seth: The whole thing was good. Oh-- Bread with my name on it! (the caterer had made a giant round loaf of bread with “Seth and Reyna” written on it as decoration)
Reyna: Yeah, that was good. My mom asked if we wanted to take it. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with a 9 pound loaf of bread with my name on it.
Seth: I took it on our honeymoon. I had to check it.
Chanel: What has surprised you the most about being married?
Reyna: How easy it is. I think I anticipated that marriage itself would be a lot harder. You hear a lot about how it is a struggle. But it is not a struggle to be married to Seth. It is easy to be married to him.
Seth: Apparently that she is allowed to have her own opinion?! Nothing has really surprised me. Oh, that she is such a good cook! Or that she became such a good cook. It didn’t start out so good…
What was your biggest fear about getting married?
Seth: Saber-toothed tigers
Reyna: That he would fall out of love with me
Seth: Me saying things and then getting in trouble.
Chanel: What is the number one reason you married Reyna?
Seth: (In a dramatic whisper) Because she completes me. Because she was everything I was looking for that I didn’t know I was looking for.
Reyna: Prior to meeting Seth I was not one of those people that thought, “if I don’t get married I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.” I had no interest in getting married just for the sake of getting married. I was interested in getting married if I really wanted to be married to that person. He was that person.
Chanel: What would you say is the secret to the success of your marriage?
Seth: Reyna admitting she’s wrong, and me being able to forgive her.
Reyna: Yes, that has worked well.
Seth: Being able to compromise.
Reyna: I appreciate that his version of compromising is that I just generally get what I want. He does a great job with that.
Seth: Listening
Reyna: Yes, listening—and then promptly forgetting everything your wife has told you. It keeps things really new and fresh.
Seth: We’re married?!
Reyna: I would say that we are not grudge holders. We don’t keep score.
Seth: We hold grudges when we go to bed:
Reyna: That’s true. That whole, “Don’t go to bed angry” thing is just hogwash. Go to bed angry. Things are always better in the morning. I’ll know it’s not a big deal when I wake up in the morning and think, “Was I supposed to be mad about something?” If I can’t remember what I’m mad about…it’s generally not an issue.
Seth: But sometimes she still remembers.
Reyna: I’ll know it’s something we have to work out if I wake up the next morning and I’m still mad. But then it’s much better to talk about it in the morning calmly.
Seth: And with no sharp objects:
Reyna: Yeah, that’s just a personal rule. So yeah.. go to bed angry, don’t hold grudges, …and we like to laugh. Mostly at other people. But other stuff too.
Chanel: How do you handle disagreements and challenges?
Reyna: I do a lot of the talking. And Seth does a lot of the sitting silently and absorbing. That used to drive me crazy that he wouldn’t converse with me about it. It took awhile to realize he was just processing, and needed time before he would respond. I wanted him to talk! What used to happen was that I figured that if he wasn’t responding then I should go ahead and elaborate on that point. And I would just talk and talk until he would finally say, “OK! I GOT IT”. So now I just say it, and...scene.
Seth: And then I forget it. And then we can fight about it tomorrow and everybody is happy. It’s win/win. Synergy.
Chanel: So in 8 years your family has grown to 6 people. What is your favorite part of being parents?
Seth: The smiles
Reyna: Yeah, the happiness of little people. I just love the family dynamic. Starting traditions…things they look forward to.
Seth: Bennett saying thank you for taking him to a baseball game.
Reyna: These little people--they are ours, but they are their own selves from the get-go. Just seeing how that unfolds…
Chanel: What is your favorite thing about each of your kids?
Reyna: Bennett is so verbal. A self-admitted “chatterbox”
Seth: He said that?
Reyna: Yeah, didn’t I tell you that? There is just a constant stream of words coming out of his mouth. The other day I told him that he didn’t need to talk every minute of the day, and that sometimes it was ok to just be quiet and he said, “I know...I’m just a chatterbox!!”
Seth: Did one of his teachers tell him that?
Reyna: I don’t know. Obviously someone has noticed besides us!
Seth: He is so smart about putting things together.
Reyna: Super inquisitive. Always wanting to understand the “why” and “how” of everything. He is so happy. And loves people.
Seth: All our kids love people
Chanel: What about Eloise?
Seth: She is all girl…Her sneakiness. Her morning “smoking voice” (5 octaves deeper than you would expect from a cute little three year old girl)
Reyna: Definitely her girliness . She’s probably our most manipulative child. She knows how to work it. She’s very affectionate and easy to please--Happy doing anything with anybody anywhere.
Chanel: Lincoln?
Seth: How sweet he is.
Reyna: Definitely our sweetest kid--the most gentle natured. He’s not a powerhouse like Bennett and Eloise who are such big personalities. He is a team player for sure. A peacekeeper
Seth: He’s the Switzerland of this family.
Reyna: There’s something about him. His face…he just has this gnomish charm. Do you concur?
Seth: I concur, doctor.
Chanel: Oliver?
Reyna: How much he likes me. (One must know that we sometimes refer to Oliver as “the little dictator” because he basically owns me and I’ll do anything for him)
Seth: His criminal mind, his terrorist attitude
Reyna: the way he holds me hostage, and then waterboards me…wait. When he is happy, is a ball of joy. He shrieks and grabs your face to give you kisses and chew on your chin.
Seth: And his ears.
Reyna: Definitely the ears.
Seth: In case we need a getaway car (he starts singing the song from Dumbo, “He can fly, he can fly, he can fly!”)
Reyna: (laughing) Oh, Oliver. When you hear this someday…we meant that in the best possible way.
Chanel: What do you predict today being the biggest challenge with each of your children?
Seth: Eloise being a teenager. Giving us attitude.
Reyna: Lots of arm crossing and pouting in our future. With Bennett…probably learning that it can’t always be his way. That he can’t be the boss of the universe. As much as he wants to be…
Chanel: He may just find a way to work that out though. I wouldn’t be surprised.
Reyna: He may become the boss of the universe. Or at least assistant TO the boss of the universe!
Seth: With Lincoln....that he might get overshadowed by some big personalities. That he can forge his own path. With Oliver it’s too soon to tell..but right now I’d say the challenge is that he will wake up at 5am everyday for the rest of his life…
Chanel: So what is your 10 year plan for your family now that it’s only 2 years away…
Reyna: I’ll take the lead on this: Finishing our family. If we’re going to have another baby—it will be in the next two years. So we will complete the ‘having kids’ portion of our lives, and move into the ‘raising kids’ portion.
Seth: Do we not have to raise them up until then?
Reyna: No. We’ll start in two years. By then we’ll have a plan…with some graphs and charts and stuff. We’ll do some research or something…that will be helpful. Also, we would really like to go on a trip for our 10 year anniversary.
Seth: well MY plan involves Motorcycles, an elephant or two, probably a hummer with a gun…
Reyna: like a roof-mounted one?
Seth: Yes. And bamboo
Reyna: He’s a man who knows what he wants. It’s why I love him.
Chanel: If you could live in any TV show of the last 20 years, which show would it be? Like on the lanai with the Golden Girls or…
Reyna: Well, I do love the Golden Girls. And cheesecake. And shoulder pads.
Seth: Texas Walker. Or Dr. Quinn
Reyna: Honestly, I would say the Cosby Show! They were a great family and had fun together. Also, they had great sweaters.
Seth: Married with Children?
Reyna: Not Lost?
Seth: No, because I would get bored and turn it off.
Chanel: What is the scariest thing that’s happened in your marriage?
Reyna: Seizures. When Seth was on the floor unresponsive
Seth: And voiding myself.
Chanel: What’s the kindest thing Reyna has ever done for you. And you can’t say having kids.
Seth: Humping me
Reyna: Yes, thank you for humping me.
Seth: The house stuff.
Chanel: What’s the kindest thing Seth has done for you?
Reyna: It’s hard to narrow that down. He’s consistently nice and thoughtful. And he doesn’t save it for special occasions or something.
Seth: I gave you the receipt for that nice thing I did last month.
Reyna: Seriously, We had a friend whose mother did that. She got her something for a birthday or Christmas, but then gave her the receipt for that same item 6 months later for another gift-giving occasion with a card that basically said, “remember when I gave you that present that one time? Yeah, that still counts for this too.”
Chanel: What turns you on?
Reyna: Being nice to me
Seth: I take the 5th.
Reyna: Let put it this way: It doesn’t take much
Chanel: What turns you off?
Reyna: Not being nice to me.
Seth: Thinking
Chanel: What sound or noise do you love?
Reyna: My kids laughing
Seth: The horn at the world cup (then he makes that horrible honking noise)
Chanel: And now we end our interview as always with a question by the great Bernard Pivot: What is your favorite word?
Reyna: Ointment. Say it over and over. Ointment, ointment, ointment. I love it. Also, Nougat.
Seth: I don’t have one.
Chanel: what’s your least favorite word?
Reyna: Penetration
Seth: I don’t have one
Reyna: Trousers? I don’t like that word either
Chanel: Is there anything else you’d like to say?
Reyna:(to Seth) this is your chance to love me using your words
Seth: I’m so happy we’re married.
Reyna: More words.
Seth: I’m so happy we’re still married…and happy that we’re happy.
Reyna: Cut

MalleyCats Gone Wild! Part II

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 16:26:12 -0500

One day while surveying the grounds (that’s fancy for playing outside), Josh noticed a bunny nest in our backyard. Upon further inspection we found 6 tiny baby bunnies all cuddled up in a little hole. That may seem unremarkable, but we were stunned to find them all alive and well. Seth had just mowed the lawn the day before--right over the top of this nest, and never saw a thing! What was even stranger was that Penny (who is part Bloodhound, mind you) never smelled a thing or acted weird or helped herself to a tasty bunny treat. Since none of us had a clue about baby bunnies, Chanel consulted the Oracle (the internet) and learned the following interesting tidbits about bunnies in the wild:

*Baby bunnies do not have a scent (hence why Penny never noticed them)
*Mama bunnies only come ‘round twice a day at morning and night to nurse their babies
* Baby bunnies have a white mark on their forehead that fades as they get older, signaling their readiness to leave the nest

Who knew, right?! Again, we had a lovely science experiment in our own backyard for the kids to watch. Each morning we would do a “bunny check” to see if everyone was accounted for, and aside from an incident with a water gun I won’t go into detail about now, the kids were great with them. Just like with the birds, one day they were gone. And just like with the birds, Bennett cried.

See that clump of grey next to the hole? That’s a mixture of fur and grass that mama bunny covers the nest with. It’s amazing how entirely hidden it becomes.

See the white mark on the forehead? By the time the bunnies hopped away, it was gone.

You know what’s cute? Baby bunnies. That’s what.

Brought to you by me...

I'm ready for my close-up

Conversations with Bennett: Part 5

Are You a Warrior?

Wedded Bliss

MalleyCats Gone Wild! Part II